Monthly Archives: July 2011

Right Wing Jesus

Right Wing Jesus    I can’t abide these Christian fundamentalists.  They show up at soldiers’ funerals with hateful anti-gay signs.  They get completely hysterical (no pun intended) over women’s reproductive rights.  They seem oblivious to the suffering of the poor and … Continue reading

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An Open Letter to Libertarians

An Open Letter to Libertarians

        Let me begin by saying I’m right there with you that drugs and prostitution should be legalized, or at least decriminalized.  People should have the right to put what they want into their bodies.  And that’s where we part company, because on pretty much everything else you espouse, you’re all a bunch of hypocrites.
        Your mantra is individual responsibility, right?  You want to succeed or fail on your own merits; you don’t need any help from government or anyone else.  I’ll bet you’d love for society to adopt your philosophy of objectivism.  Here’s the first thing that would happen – – the population would crash as mothers refused to feed their infants.  Let them take care of themselves; that’s what you preach, isn’t it?  Your problem is that you’re all utopians.  The only way your world view works is if everyone lives on their own island, and there aren’t enough islands to go around.  In the real world this is unrealistic and unworkable.
        If you drive on public streets and highways, you’re a hypocrite.  You’ll need to lay out your own streets and highways; good luck with that.  Unless you put in your own gas, water, sewer, phone, and electric, you’re all hypocrites.  You also need to deny yourselves any and all social programs, like Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security.  Oh, yes.  You’ll also need your own fire and police protection.  You wouldn’t want to have to rely on those government-run socialistic systems.  If you want to mail a letter you need to deliver it personally, no matter where in the world you have to go.  Let’s see, have I forgotten anything?
        You see, there’s a reason the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution begins with the words, “We the People”.  It’s not “I the Individual”, is it?  You belong to a society.  But if you insist on going it alone, I think you should come up with your own symbol to identify yourselves to the rest of us.  That way, if you get into some kind of trouble we’ll know to leave you alone to work it out.  Allow me to suggest a black capital “I” on a white background.  It’s highly visible.  You can wear it on an armband so that if you slip and fall on the ice, we’ll see it and go about our own business.  You can put a sticker on your license plate so that when we see your car in the ditch, we’ll know to drive right on by.  So take care, now.  No, just take off.  If you don’t want to be a part of society, we’d just as soon you were apart FROM society.
        Wait, where are you going?  I’m not finished with you yet.  Maybe I can still reach you.  Are you aware that your frigid mother goddess Ayn Rand modeled her fictional supermen on a child killer named William Edward Hickman?  She filled her journals with notes about him, wrote to him in prison.  He lived by his own rules and answered to no one.  You should read what he did to that little 12-yr old girl.  It’s too grisly for me to go into.  You may know how she disparaged social programs as for the weak and undeserving.  But did you know that at the end of her life, when she was dying of lung cancer, she had no problem accepting Medicare and Social Security?  Maybe you also didn’t know she was a lifelong atheist, and thought religion was immoral.  And she didn’t think much of marriage and the family, either.  Okay, then, at least I tried.  Until you grow up and put away these childish fantasies about rugged individualism, I can’t do anything for you.  I know it worked fine for Daniel Boon, but that was almost three hundred years ago.  So go on, now, take your toys and get the hell out of my society.  I hope you find your island.  You can be your own Lord of the Flies, or King of the Crabs.  Whatever you want!  I’ll just leave you with the words of Paul Simon:

“I am a rock; I am an island.  And a rock feels no pain.  And an island never cries.

 

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Welcome

WELCOME      Now where did I put those launch codes?  Oh, here they are.  3 . . 2 . . 1 . . ignition . . . liftoff.  We have liftoff.  Welcome to Wryly Coyote, a weekly tour of Kafka’s … Continue reading

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