What the Aliens Are Really After

What the Aliens Are Really After

By Earnest Prankheimer

    There’s been a lot of alien activity worldwide, lately.  They’ve been working overtime, abducting rustic farmers or fishermen (it’s odd, isn’t it, that somehow they never take an astronomer or physicist).  They make sure they’re seen often enough to keep the belief in them alive.  Heck, they’ve got a whole division just creating all those crop circles.
    We’re dealing with a multitude of different alien species.  The grays we’re pretty familiar with, but there are tall, Nordic types, mantis-like insectoids, the Thetans of Scientology, the reptilians (who seem to be in charge), and half-human hybrids.  Then there are the Anunnaki, or Nephilim, of Zechariah Sitchin.  These are the guys from that 12th planet, Nebiru.  That’s the one that’s getting really close, now.  Oh, you can’t see it; they made it invisible, but it’s there, alright.  They must also have figured out how to keep it’s mass from even slightly disturbing the orbits of any planets they passed on the way in.
    According to Sitchin, the Anunnaki were the original ancient astronauts, who either bred with, or combined their DNA with, the primitive hominids present.  They needed a workforce, you see, to mine gold so they could save their own atmosphere.  No, don’t think about it too much, or it sounds silly.  This intermingling to create us humans is a constant fixture of ancient astronautology.  Naturally, being away from their home planet for extended periods of time makes anyone horny, as we seen in Genesis 6:2 — “That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose . . . “
    The aliens have been with us for a very long time.  They had the foresight to build Stonehenge, the Pyramids of Egypt and Central America, and a host of other ancient wonders, just so someday tourists would have somewhere to go on vacation.  Then they taught us how to use fire and gave us language.  We’re too stupid to have come up with any of this on our own, a fact made painfully obvious by the state of humankind today.  We can see their ancient structures all over Mars and the Moon.  Richard Hoagland, the High Priest of Ancient Alienolgy, has even found pictures from the Curiosity probe showing ancient, crumbled apartments.  I know they may look like shelves of sedimentary rock, but they’re not.  And there’s (a rock that looks like) a rat, and (a rock that looks like) a tennis shoe.  Hey, there’s a GameBoy!
    Because aliens have been with us for thousands of years, they’ve had to bring their families along, too, and that means teenagers.  Adolescents are pretty much the same in any species.  They get bored, and while the adults are preoccupied, they go thrill seeking.  Take a small shuttle saucer, cruise over an Iowa cornfield, hey, let’s pick up that guy!  They’re the ones doing all those anal probes.  Just kids, messing around.  They’re also responsible for all the cattle mutilations, too.  It’s their version of cow tipping.
    The big question is, what do they want?  Well, there are several answers (none of them dealing with mining gold for their atmosphere)  One of their primary missions is to act as a kind of galactic police force, to quarantine humans from spreading beyond Earth orbit.  They consider us far too dangerous to just let go wandering around the universe.  See how their wisdom is so much more advanced than ours?  A secondary enterprise, and very fruitful, too, is the galactic tourist industry.  In the 18th and 19th Centuries, it was in vogue to take the Grand European Tour — Venice, Rome, the Alps, the Rhine River, and so on.  Well, Earth is by far the hottest destination in this quadrant.  Folks from planets near and far are flocking to see the dumb-ass humans, and the planet is very attractive, too.  This helps account for the great variety of alien types.  As for all those crop circles, I can tell you it’s a game played between two alien species, and would be comparable to 3-D chess.
    What are they really after?  I’m sorry to inform so many UFOnuts, but they are not going to rescue us from the mess we’ve created (neither is Jesus).  This kind of magical thinking is known as Salvationism, and promises an easy way out.  Sorry.  We are going to have to work it out by ourselves.
    Now our government, and most other governments, know all this.  They’ve known for fifty years if not much longer.  They don’t dare tell us, because we’d go even crazier than we already are, if you can imagine that.  A government-funded study at the Brookings Institution in 1961 was to determine the effect on human civilization if it were announced that we’d made contact with an intelligent alien species.  The result would be catastrophic, it was reported, both from a societal and religious perspective.  It’s easy to believe, when you consider how the religious right gets its knickers in a wad merely over a woman’s right to choose, gay people, or immigrants.  Many world governments secretly make deals with the aliens.  You give us this advanced technology and we’ll let you abduct oh, say, 60,000 people a year.  It’s a win-win strategy, or so we think.
    The main agenda, however, is taking over our planet, and getting rid of us in the process.  Remember I told you the reptilians are running the show?  They’ve infiltrated human society, and walk among us.  They have positions high in world governments.  If you want to know what they look like in human skin, Google photos of Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO), or author John Lott.  You can see the reptilian eyebrow ridge plainly.  The reptilians need a much hotter, more methane rich atmosphere.  To accomplish this, the fossil fuel industry must be allowed to run roughshod over the land, air, and water, until the entire planet is a festering, sooty grease ball.  That’s what it was like on their lost planet, an atmosphere saturated with hydrocarbons.  All the big guns in those industries are necessarily reptilians, getting everything ready for the big migration.
    If the planet is in ruins, what are they going to eat? Humans, naturally; they’ll breed us like cattle.  Oh, they’ll separate the pretty women for their lusty pleasures, the bastards, just like the Bible said.  Now you know.  Have a nice day!

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